My wife confessed to bedding her ex five years ago – how do we move on?

DEAR DEIDRE: ACCORDING to my wife, she slept with her ex five years ago.

She said it happened just once and that she felt terrible immediately afterwards.


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I don’t know why she confessed. I told her she could tell me anything but now I wish she had kept this secret to herself.

It has destroyed my self-confidence and I have no trust in our relationship now. Everything has been affected – our sex life and the closeness we shared.

I’m 43 and my wife’s 41. We’ve been married for eight years and before this I had never been happier. She has continually apologised but every time she does I find myself throwing it back at her.

Where do I go from here? I just don’t know how to trust her now.

DEIDRE SAYS:It would be tragic to tear your marriage apart over one, admittedly big, mistake.

Your trust has been shattered but it is possible to rebuild it if you are both willing to try.

She sounds like she is genuinely sorry but constantly going over old ground is so damaging. My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you.

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