My missus only wants to have sex with me if her friends are allowed to join in

DEAR DEIDRE:  MY girlfriend only wants to have sex with her mates in on the action. 

Sometimes it feels like all my birthdays have come at once and other times I think she might be bored with me.

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I am 23, she is 22 and we have been an item for just over a year. Our sex life has been great from the start. 

My girl is gorgeous and all my mates envy me. Amazingly, her three besties are hot, too.

She didn’t see them for the first few weeks of lockdown but then they all got fed up with it and had a boozy night round our place, letting their hair down.

I went out to see some mates of mine and they were still drinking when I got back late.

They ran off to the bedroom and came back wearing skimpy outfits. 

Then they sat next to me on the sofa and started running their hands all over my hair and body. I was on cloud nine. I asked my girlfriend what was going on and she told me to chill out and enjoy the ride.

And what a sexy ride it turned out to be. We all finished the night on a high. It was an incredible experience.


I OFTEN hear from people worriedthe way they or their partner enjoys sex is not normal or is kinky.

Nothing is wrong between a caring couple as long as they both enjoy it. My leaflet Kinky Sex Worries can help.

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The next morning we slept in late, then her mates left. 

My girlfriend and me went out for the day. It was like nothing had happened and she didn’t want to talk about the night before. She just laughed it off.

But something hasn’t been right in our relationship since. 

I didn’t give it a second thought when I tried it on a few nights later and she said she was tired.

But it has been one excuse after another, until she suggested inviting her pals to join in again. I was surprised, but agreed.

It has been happening on a regular basis ever since.

Now I cannot remember when just me and her had sex and it is really starting to bother me. If I say anything, she just says I should think how lucky I am.

DEIDRE SAYS: No one is going to feel lucky if one of you picks up coronavirus.

So that is one good reason to tell your girlfriend all this has to stop.

Another is that it is starting to undermine your whole relationship with your girlfriend.

You say she makes light of your concerns, so the time has come to insist on a heart to heart. 

Ask why she is so keen on involving her friends in your love life. Was she left feeling frustrated by sex when it was just the two of you?

Tell her that sex with her friends is going to stop now – there are risks to your sexual health and of unplanned pregnancy as well as of Covid-19.

Ask what changes in technique would help her find your love life more thrilling

My e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex can help. But if she won’t agree to refresh your sex life between the two of you, best accept that this relationship has run out of steam.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I still want sex at 50 but all I get from my husband is 'I’m not interested'

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