My gay friend claims he had a sexual fumble with my boyfriend

DEAR DEIDRE: A MALE friend has admitted he had a sexual fumble with my boyfriend last autumn.

But my boyfriend insists he was too hammered to remember anything from that night.


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I’m not sure how to handle this bombshell news.

I’m a girl of 21 and I’ve been with my boyfriend, who is 23, for two years.

We met at university and moved in together at the start of the pandemic and I thought we had built a cosy home together.

Now I feel so foolish and want to walk away from it all.

One of our friends had their 21st birthday last October and rented an area of a pub garden.

As the evening wore on, social distancing went out of the window.

It was really good fun but I got a migraine and went home at around 10pm.

He came home a few hours later and I didn’t think much of it.

I do remember his jeans were covered in mud, but I figured he’d fallen over — he’s quite a messy drunk.

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This friend of ours is 24 and gay, and only recently told me my boyfriend had cheated because another female friend insisted I deserved to know the truth.

I asked my boyfriend about it but he said he can’t remember anything.

He has tried to laugh it off and doesn’t seem concerned at all.

This male friend has now blocked me on everything and won’t return my calls.

I’m not sure why he is blanking me — it could be he is embarrassed, but I can’t get back to him to ask him more questions.

I don’t know what to think.

If it happened, I’d feel hurt more than anything.

My boyfriend hasn’t shown any gay tendencies before.

Do I tell him to leave or let it go?

DEIDRE SAYS: You need to find out the truth and if your boyfriend genuinely can’t remember, go back to your female friend and ask what she knows exactly.

It’s unlikely your boyfriend would suddenly cheat on you with another man if he has never had gay feelings before.

Maybe he did cheat and was so drunk he didn’t know if it was a man or a woman. But he could be risking your sexual health if something did happen.

Ask your boyfriend again about that night, because this issue is driving a wedge between you.

At the very least he needs to acknowledge how damaging his drinking is and must agree to cut down.

If you can’t delve any deeper into what happened that night, tell your boyfriend you’re giving him the benefit of the doubt but one more wrong step and he is history.

My support pack on cheating will help you.

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