DEAR DEIDRE: I TOOK my wedding dress to a charity shop when it went out of fashion because my fiancé has refused for so long to name the day.
We were engaged 16 years ago. He had told a mate he was nervous about proposing so I asked him when it was leap year. He said “yes”.
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He watched me plan our wedding but found excuse after excuse to put off fixing a date.
He would say the weather would not be right, or it was too near his parents’ anniversary, or his best man could not make it. He’s cruel.
He says marriage is just a bit of paper but he doesn’t take into consideration what I want. He’s 45 and I’m 43.
We’ve been together for 20 years and I’ve given him the best part of my life. I want marriage, I want love and I want security.
DEIDRE SAYS: Could he have a reason to distrust marriage? What was his parents’ relationship like?
If he won’t/can’t consider your feelings, talk it through with a counsellor and decide whether you really want a future with him, married or not.
Most counsellors work online these days. See bacp.co.uk.
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