‘My depressed parents are bribing me to name my firstborn after my dead brother’

For any new parent, choosing your child's name is a huge milestone.

It can take months to divide and it's not uncommon for family and friends to develop strong opinions on your final choice.

Many parents look for inspiration from deceased relatives, while others may choose something rooted in history or a personal significance.

But one woman has told of her stress over choosing her son's first name after her parents demanded that he be named after her brother.

It seems that her parents are desperate for him to be given their son's name after he passed away from an infection while being treated for cancer.

And while the woman appears sympathetic, she says she is furious after her dad offered the couple a plot of land worth a lot of money in return for agreeing to the name.

Now she has accused her parents of trying to "buy her son" and turned to the internet for some advice.

On Reddit, she wrote: "I'm 7 months pregnant with our first baby boy and ever since we revealed the baby gender, my parents have been pressuring us into naming our son after my deceased brother who passed away from infection after fighting cancer for 3 years.

"His death left both my parents depressed, they had been talking to other families who been through the same experience.

"My mom heard one of the ladies saying that she gave her granddaughter her deceased sister's name and her mental health had improved because being with her granddaughter felt like her sister was still around.

"My mom insisted that I name my son after my brother to feel like he was still here and not really gone she said that he will fill her life with the joy she lost when she lost my brother.

"Thing is, I've already picked a name that I really like, my husband likes it to, when my mom found out she got mad at me, she started saying that we need to forget about the name we picked and go with my brothers.

"She said we could still call our baby whatever but his official name should be my brothers.

"She argued with my husband and we left after she called him selfish.

"My dad called us last night, he brought up the land that he inherited from my grandfather that he did nothing with because he didn't have the desire and offered it in exchange for us to name our son after my brother's name.

"I was in a state of disbelief, he knew our financial situation and that rents are getting higher and harder to keep up with especially with my husband trying to look for a job, the land is worth xxx of money and my husband is wanting it and he said yes.

"But I was mad that he tried to buy the name and I refused, my dad berated me and said that I must hate my brother for insisting on not giving my son his name, not true but I'm hurt with his disregard for my and my baby's feeling and for him to offer money to basically buy my son is beyond awful."

After sharing her stress, many people rushed to reassure her that she wasn't in the wrong.

One person wrote: "I understand that your parents are still hurting from his passing, but on top of the fact it’s completely your decision what you want to name your child, I can’t imagine it will be easy or fair for your son bearing the name of a dead uncle."

Another agreed, adding: "You parents need grief counseling yesterday. Your baby is not a substitute or replacement for your brother. Your baby will be there own person and your mother needs to recognise that."

A third person added: "This is your child. You and your husband get to name him.

"Your parents suffered a tragic loss, but so did you, and they are using your child as a way to ignore all of that.

"They need to deal with the loss."

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