Is it normal to not want sex? | The Sun

DEIDRE SAYS: A third of British women aren’t interested in sex – and while it’s normal for our libido to lull, many don’t understand why. 

Everyone’s sex drive is different. For some people, once a month is enough, while other couples might have sex every day – it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re happy and satisfied. 

It’s also normal for our sexual desire to ebb and flow over time.  

But if you’ve noticed a change in how often you want to be intimate, or it’s affecting your relationship, there may be another cause. 

Here are four reasons why you may not be interested in sex: 

Stress and Tiredness 

Our sex drive is very much connected to our emotions, thoughts and feelings. 

Stress, along with other mental disorders such as depression and anxiety, can all affect our desire for intimacy. 

Our support pack Help For Stress has tips for how to cope. 

But it’s also important to share how you’re feeling with your partner – they may be able to help take some of the load, and it will stop them overthinking why you’re not initiating. 

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Relationship Issues 

Maybe you’re feeling less connected than usual, or an argument hasn’t been properly resolved. 

Perhaps the trust has gone, or your sexual attraction to your partner. 

Doubts and worries about your relationship will influence your sexual desire. 

Some people find a conversation is easier with a counsellor. Experts at Relate ( can help mediate these conversations and offer guidance on how to move forward. 

Sexual Issues

If your last few experiences of intimacy haven’t been positive, then you may be avoiding it. 

Ejaculation and erection problems, as well as vaginal dryness, can all affect your libido. 

Physical Health

Any long-term medical condition – heart disease, diabetes, cancer – can affect your sex drive. 

Medications to treat physical health conditions can also play a role. 

More information is available in our various sex drive support packs. 

Whatever your worry, you’re not alone. The Dear Deidre team will be able to recommend your best next steps to help get your life back on track. 

For a support pack and personalised advice, email us at or for a prompt response, message us on Facebook.

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