DEAR DEIDRE:  MY wife and I have enjoyed threesomes for more than 20 years.

The best are with the ex I was with for five years in my twenties.

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When we split up, we agreed to keep meeting for sex.

I’m 53 and my beautiful wife turns 50 this year. As a birthday treat we’re going to visit my ex in Greece.

She is 62 and she has recently remarried.

I’m planning a fabulous trip with my wife, loads of sun, wine and sex.

The one worry is that my ex’s new husband does not like threesomes — or foursomes — at all.

He is not keen on his wife making merry with us, so we have to be discreet.

We are renting a villa not far from their home. The plan is for her to visit us there.

Her husband is 65 and set in his ways. It’s a shame he isn’t relaxed about threesomes and that kind of thing like her last husband was.

Topic4today

UP to half of women suffer a loss of interest in sex.

Often it can be linked to issues in their relationship or their past.

My e-leaflet How To Light Her Fire is a straightforward self-help guide.

For a copy, email the address below or private-message me on Facebook.

Sadly, that wonderful man died four years ago. I know she misses him still and I am happy she has found love again.

We have only met for a threesome once since they wed last year and I was worried she had changed.

The sex didn’t work out like it should.

In fact, it seemed like it was causing her pain and that really affected how I performed.

We have made all the bookings for visiting Greece in October.

We have paid all the costs for a villa with a pool but I am starting to feel a bit tense.

It will be so disappointing if my ex isn’t into the whole threesome scene like she was.

It would spoil my wife’s big birthday treat.

DEIDRE SAYS: I am very wary of threesomes, which can cause huge problems of jealousy and loss of trust.

See my e-leaflet Thinking Of A Threesome for more information.

Yet threesomes have worked well for you and your wife so far, being safe and consensual.

But now there is a dangerous virus in circulation – perhaps you’ve heard? – that makes sex outside a committed relationship extra-dangerous.

Plus your ex’s new husband isn’t happy about threesomes and swinging, while the last time you and your wife got together with your ex, she wasn’t enjoying the sex and even seemed to be in pain.

Maybe she didn’t get fully aroused because she was feeling guilty and uneasy. Or maybe the years have affected her sexual responses.

I worry she is feeling pressured by your expectations to agree to meet for threesomes.

Just imagine how your treat holiday will feel if it results in blowing up her new marriage or some of you developing Covid-19.

Treat your wife to a wonderful birthday but why not keep it between the two of you, just for a change?

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