I know I’ve met my soulmate but I’ve lost my desire to have sex with him

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE found the man I want to be with for the rest of my life.

I have been living with him for the past two years but don’t understand why I no longer want to have sex with this guy I love.

This happens to me every time.

This man is my soulmate.

He’s 26 and I’m 27.

He’s a good-looking guy and the sex with him used to be great.

Now the thought of it makes me turn cold.
It feels like he is more of a friend than my lover, in fact.

The weird bit is that I am still sexually attracted to other men and I miss that connection in life.

This happens with every partner I’ve had.

My sexual feelings switch off at some point while I crave sex with other men.

I’m not going to cheat but this makes me sad.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like a fear of commitment that is making you shy away when you are getting close to a man.

What was your childhood like – and your parents’ relationship?

If that was very unhappy, this could well be the reason you start to back off now.

Talking it through with a counsellor could prove to be a big help.

My e-leaflet on counselling explains.