DEAR DEIDRE: I GAVE my girlfriend bigger breasts for her birthday but it’s badly backfired.
We’ve been together three years. I am 47 and she’s 36. I lift weights and I’m into keeping fit. My girlfriend has two boys and a girl. She had been too busy to worry about her figure until she met me.
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She started going to the gym when the boys were at school and lost weight, but she asked me to pay for breast augmentation for her birthday. I have my own business and I like to spoil her so I agreed without thinking too deeply about it.
When she booked an appointment with a consultant it suddenly felt very real.
I told her I didn’t mind spending the money but I did tell her I had concerns. I was worried she was thinking of going too big, about what message this gave her children, what other mums at school would say and what it seemed to say about me paying for something like this.
We saw the surgeon together and she was very impressive and reassuring, so my girlfriend decided to go ahead. At the last minute she went a bit bigger than we had agreed.
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She recovered well from the operation, though she was surprised at just how big she is now. I wasn’t keen and I was afraid to touch them when we had sex.
We managed a holiday in Greece in August. She looked amazing going topless and felt great, but things went wrong when we got home and the kids went to school.
Other school mums had seen the photos on her Instagram and were talking behind her back. She got some snide comments about what she did over the summer and heard someone talk about her as “Silicon T**s”. Her kids have been teased in school.
I’m worried about her now as she’s not going to the gym or the shops or calling round friends for a cuppa. I’m not sure what I should do.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend risks becoming depressed so tell her you’re worried about her and ask how she’s feeling.
Point out that it’s important to distinguish between the reaction of maybe jealous acquaintances and genuine regrets of her own.
Suggest she invites friends and school mums for a coffee in ones and twos and shares how hurt she feels. That may well bring out a more encouraging response.
There’s no excuse for her children suffering bullying so take this up with the school which should have an anti-bullying policy.
But if all this has made her realise life isn’t actually better with a bigger bust, offer to pay for her to have the implants removed and tell her you love her whatever her decision. It’s her as a person you love and her children value, not her bra size.
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