DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD the best sex ever when a friend asked me if I wanted to go round to her house for no-strings sex, but I’m worried we have broken lockdown rules?
I was gobsmacked when she invited me round and asked if she was serious.
She said she was, and couldn’t put it any more clearly.
This friend is 29, I’m a 32-year-old guy, and we often meet for a walk. When she is away I look after her dog.
A couple of weeks ago I saw she had changed her profile picture on Facebook.
I messaged her, saying I’d seen it and she looked amazing. She replied that she had taken it a few days before.
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Then, 20 minutes later, she messaged me asking if I wanted to go round for sex.
I agreed, immediately went round and we started kissing as soon as I walked in the door.
She grabbed my hand and took me up to her bedroom where we had awesome sex.
We have had sex a few times since but she says we need to be discreet as she has two kids, so we can only see one another when they are at their dad’s. It has worked out well.
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What I am wondering is whether we have broken coronavirus rules. I can’t see anywhere about people having sex.
And will us having sex affect our friendship? I have told her I hoped it wouldn’t.
We are both single. Could this lead to a relationship?
That is what I would really like to have with her, but I don’t want to get my hopes up and I am not putting any pressure on her at this stage for sex or a relationship.
DEIDRE SAYS: Let’s start with the rules. There’s no way you can have socially distanced sex so this is only OK if you form a bubble together, which you can do if you live alone.
But this would mean you’d count as a member of her household.
If, for example, one of her children develops symptoms, then you’ll have to isolate too.
You need to think it through but you can check out all the rules at gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household.
Rules apart, how long is it since she split up with her children’s father?
Is she emotionally ready for another relationship? Does she really just want no-strings sex or is she perhaps hoping it will lead to more commitment on both sides?
Tell her you two need to have an honest conversation. You already have feelings for her.
If she insists it is still no-strings sex, best stop the sex as you will only end up feeling used and hurt and go back to being strictly friends without benefits.
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