You’ll read no lies here, only facts that may be difficult to swallow.
The beauty of football – and by extension, Dream Team – is that it follows a vaguely familiar path while simultaneous being consistently unpredictable.
We are lured into thinking we know it all only to be undone by our ignorance time and time again.
The following five facts highlight the absurdity of the 2020/21 season so far.
1 Chelsea’s keeper is the absolute best… and the worst
The contrast between the Blues’ form before and after Edouard Mendy’s (£3.2m) arrival could hardly be more stark.
And the turnaround is best evidenced by the fact the Senegal international has more Dream Team points (39) than any of his peers at this stage while Kepa Arrizabalaga (£2.0m) has the least with a miserable -3.
2 Joelinton (£1.9m) is a better footballer than Roberto Firmino (£2.8m)
Okay, so that may be a tad strong but it says a lot about Liverpool’s No9 that he’s currently being outscored by a player whose inability to find the net made him something of a punchline last season.
Joelinton has a modest 21 points but that’s enough for him to edge out his decorated compatriot who has limped to just 17 points after eight Game Weeks.
Rewind 12 months and the mere act of including these two in same sentence would be an outrage but that’s how badly Firmino is struggling to make an impact this campaign.
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3 Just one player separates the PFA Player of the Year and the worst player in the game
Work this one out.
Despite the fact he’s the worst performing player in Dream Team this season with -11 points, John Egan (£1.7m) is more popular than Sebastien Haller (£3.0m), who has the same number of points (44) as Kevin De Bruyne (£6.4m).
0.5% of gaffers have suffered because of the Sheffield United defender’s efforts compared to just 0.2% who have benefited from Haller’s surprisingly respectable tally.
Whereas Man City’s strawberry-blonde superstar features in a whopping 60.8% of teams!
It’s a funny old game.
4 Ollie Watkins is better than all of Arsenal’s forwards combined
This is a painful one for Gunners fans, particularly those who put their faith in Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (£5.5m) before the season commenced.
The Gabonese poacher started the campaign as a Golden Boot favourite but he’s averaged just 2.7 points per Game Week so far.
Alexandre Lacazette’s (£2.9m) problems in front of goal are well-documented and a lack of incision in the final third means understudy Eddie Nketiah (£1.6m) is the best performing Arsenal forward of 2020/21 with only 28 points to his name.
Mikel Arteta’s marksmen have a combined tally of 71 points, which falls four short of the total Ollie Watkins (£3.6m) has amassed on his own.
5 Spurs could beat Crystal Palace with just two players
Alright, so this one wouldn’t work in practice.
But it’s a testament to how obscenely well Harry Kane (£7.8m) and Son Heung-min (£5.2m) have started the season that the pair have considerably more points between them (216) than Crystal Palace’s entire squad (169).
And it’s not as if the Eagles have struggled — Roy Hodgson’s side are three points off the Champions League places!
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