Jeremy Clarkson blasts trick or treaters in furious Halloween rant: ‘B****r off!’

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As we head towards tomorrow’s Halloween celebrations, youngsters everywhere will be prepping their costumes, gearing up for an evening of socially distanced trick or treating. It’s an annual holiday many look forward to, but Jeremy Clarkson isn’t one of them.

It’s the first real upside of this whole Covid business

Jeremy Clarkson

In fact, the 60-year-old downright hates it and was more than happy that coronavirus rules and restrictions won’t be lifted in time for people to enjoy it like the years before.

In his most recent column in The Sun, The Grand Tour host waged war against those who were taking part in the “nonsense” holiday, and sent a very clear warning to youngsters hoping to knock on his door tomorrow evening.

“I certainly never did anything on Halloween when I was a kid and I bet you didn’t either,” he wrote.

“But then, the Fancy Dress Outfitters Association of America decided they could drum up a bit of business if they brought it back.

“So, they teamed up with the Pumpkin Growers Society and urged children to knock on their neighbours’ doors, saying ‘Give me some money or I’ll vandalise your car.'”

Continuing his rant about old tales that tie in with the spooky celebration, he relished in the fact that coronavirus has saved him the trouble of dealing with anyone this year.

“The good news is that if the current UK regulations are still in place on October 31, I will be able to watch a boxset without having to answer the front door every three minutes so I can tell a bunch of scruffy urchins to b****r off,” he snapped.

“It’s the first real upside of this whole Covid business.”

View this post on Instagram

Uber driver FaceTiming on the move

A post shared byJeremy Clarkson (@jeremyclarkson1) on

He added: “Of course, my bitterness might have something to do with the fact that I have a whole field of pumpkins which I planted to cash in on the Halloween festivities.

“And now, no one’s buying them.”

Earlier this week, Downing Street suggested trick or treating can take place as long as the local restrictions are followed, as parts of England are staggered in the tier system.

The prime minister’s official spokesman this week said: “The rules are those which apply to household mixing in general and what that means in practice is if you are in a very high alert level (Tier 3) then you cannot mix with other households indoors or in private outdoor spaces.

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“If you’re in a high Covid alert level (Tier 2) then the rule of six applies in private gardens and outdoor spaces but households must not mix indoors.

“And in terms of the medium alert level (Tier 1), you can meet indoors and outdoors in groups of no more than six people.”

Elsewhere, Jezza was giving someone else a piece of his mind as he berated an Uber driver for appearing to use his phone behind the wheel.

In view of his three million followers on Instagram, the former Top Gear star took to the picture-sharing site where he uploaded the video of a cabby appearing to answer a FaceTime call while driving.

Jeremy seemed to be in the passenger seat of a separate car, as he filmed the driver in question.

Pulling up alongside him, Jeremy captured the vehicle where the driver looked to have his phone on a video call which was being used hands free, with the phone attached to the driver’s windscreen.

The Grand Tour star penned: “Uber driver FaceTiming on the move.”

The post quickly caught the attention of his followers, with the video receiving over 370,000 views. has contacted Uber representatives for further comment.

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